BRACEN UP

BRACEN UP

Fidgeting with my pen, my eyes unsteady, revealing the anxiety that lay deep within me. “Did she see me … what if she remembers me? Nah, if I talk to her she may … she may what, you don’t know what she’ll do … But, what if she… what if she what…” my mind engaged in a debate amidst the cacophony of car horns and loud music from the archaic radio set in the “danfo” bus enroute Yaba.
I was seated in the bus confined to the 30 minute drive from the island to Yaba when in came a girl, not just any girl but in an awkward arrangement of fate, we have continuously met each other at the same bus-stop last semester and now a few months later, fate has decided to up its game by placing both of us in the same bus on my way to school that hazy hammatan morning. Sitting just a seat behind me, she was poised and calm, whilst my thought faculties were plagued with the desire to initiate a conversation or to pretend like in the past, that she wasn’t there. Of course, I would have had an escape from this decision if our eyes had not momentarily locked as she entered the bus, imagine me acting like a 14 year old: afraid to talk to a girl… ha ha, very funny indeed but that still didn’t quell the euphoria and anxiety I was experiencing at the same time.
As a Christian we are overly encouraged to be bold for we have not the spirit of fear-or my personal favorite be anxious for nothing. We go through life faced with situations that demand of us the heart of a lion and sometimes we do err and make mistakes making us recoil and shy away from the world. No one wants to step into the water like biblical “Peter”, perhaps it would have been easier if the world didn’t show us all the possible ways we could drown.
Nevertheless my dilemma still stared me in the face: what do I say, how do I say it and what time is best to approach. We all have been in situations where our extended arm of friendship is left hanging, bruising our ego (men can testify to that). But time wasn’t concerned about my dilemma and wouldn’t spare me more than my share; as the sight of my inevitable bus-stop came into view.
Drawing in deep breaths; putting an end to the pendulum of thoughts that swayed my mind, I brushed aside my conjured apparition of embarrassment and shame, as we came off the bus; I offered her my hand as I introduced myself. It was her smile that saved me and her outstretched arm as she told me her name. It seemed like a rush of wind: cool and refreshing as I regained my posture smiling back and talking about how we met.
This was a prolonged meeting that would never have happened, if I had stayed silent, too timid to even say a word. Everyone must come to a point in life where it either to fly or to perch, to run or to stop… it is said that if you want to be heard speak up if you want to be seen standup… in my case I wanted to be a friend, so I braced up: what are you up to?