CRITICAL

Who decides the shirt, pant or dress you wear on a Monday morning; Eva Longoria, Oprah, Suzy Menkes, the Kardishians or that cute girl on a Nigerian blog?

It was on a dry and dusty afternoon a side effect of the harmarthan which had flung itself upon our lives like a desperate lover-‘like were where you when it was your season?’ Embalmed in Pears baby lotion to combat the dust, I hung out with the guys and discussed about the usual stuff that pre-occupies our minds…then suddenly one of them blurted; ‘there is something important I want to ask you’. I shifted my gaze to him and he had that serious look in his eyes like he was my dad and had discovered something I did wrong and was preparing to corner me into a confession and subsequent punishment-ten strokes of the cane not like those crème children in America who are sent to their room were they still have their T.V and Play-station 2; and they call that punishment!

‘You remember that friend of yours, that one in fashion’ he inquired and I nodded in agreement. ‘What he wears sometimes…I have seen him wear some things and I just over look it but the one I saw in someone’s phone, AH’, he stressed; ‘Really?’ I interjected but he continued like a lecturer in the middle of a lecture not to be interrupted.
‘He was all dressed up in a suit which was alright till I saw him carrying a clutch purse’, and at this point the other guy with us joined in ‘ehh!’ he chorused. ‘What I think you saw is a man bag’ I reiterated. ‘No! I am telling you it was a clutch purse’ he replied almost as soon as I finished speaking.

‘Even the guy that showed me the picture; when he told me that it was something serious I was immediately curious because usually when he says it is SOMETHING, then it really is SOMETHING’ he added with the finality of a lawyer making his concluding statement in court after a gruelling trial.

Sure there are a lot of head turners; like the young dude that tied a scarlet red wrapper to my church on a certain Sunday. Imagine the stares, and yes he came in, in the middle of the service: ooh what a sight it was. He also strived for symmetry wearing in addition a pair of black UGG Dakota moccasins and a fussier pink shirt, and he is also quite good-looking; sorry I am a guy; I would feel really awkward describing a guy in detail like they do it on E!. But to me the outfit was surreally elegant…maybe not for Sunday morning.

I wonder if you get a degree to becoming a critic but like every civilised society where the thump print of a man is stronger that the trigger of a gun I believe that the critic must also dance to the music of a higher power-the people. I sound political (giggle) maybe it’s in the air but it’s just a thought as I must admit that I have judged to quickly in this case before men now.

I was told to wear a pink shirt, red tied and a black suit to usher today and I vehemently opposed the idea in my mind but looking in the mirror now: I look pretty damn good *winks*.


Photo credit: Google images