FREAK OUT

“Jump…it’s the perfect suicide position...” “tufaikwa!” swinging my hand around my head and clicking my fingers as they arrive in front of me. I am still very young…I have not yet proposed to my baby mama (the one still in my head). Looking down that balcony, I can’t look straight down not to talk of climbing and then jumping? “tufaikwa!”.

Oyinbo’s may classify me as someone that has a phobia called Batophobia: fear of heights; which got me thinking what more phobia’s are out there? So here are some of the most serious, quirky and down right ludicrous phobias that I found.

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing. - Okada riders…lord deliver us.

Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. – Hope you don’t know any one in this category. MFM still dey Yaba.

Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions- Problem with Nigerian Politics.

Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers- my excuse for failing math’s in primary school but mummy will not believe me *smiling*

Arrhenphobia- Fear of men

Bacteriophobia- Fear of bacteria- Adrian Monk…lol

Bibliophobia- Fear of books- Unilag will deliver you of this one, specifically ECONOMICS DEPARTMENT.

Belonephobia- Fear of pins and needles.

Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness- Nigeria had to face this one for 8years…you know who I am talking about! I am not saying but here is a tip – our President btw 1999 to 2007.

Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money- Ahh, they just made this one up.

Coprophobia- Fear of feces- as in fear of SHIT. So does that include the persons own? *thinking*

Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns- Father Christmas when I was four years old. I could have sworn back then that he wanted to suffocate me with his artificial cotton wool beard.

Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons- we have the cure in Niaja: MFM. Yaba…

Dikephobia- Fear of justice. - Why we must register and vote.

Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church.

Gelotophobia- Fear of being laughed at- why many do not live, they only exist.

Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctor- especially in Nigerian hospitals: with poor service in the public ones and neck cutting prices in the private ones.

Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis. *coughs*

Nostophobia- Fear of returning home- the dilemma of many Nigerian men who are tired of their wives.

Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother- Patience Ozokwo…

Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.-SAD…we don’t understand Gods love.

Yet with so many descriptions of fear we have just one solution LOVE…GOD.

“There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” There! Pastor Oyakhire said it.

I better get off this balcony, I think I may have found my future baby mama, *winks*





Photo credit: epicreaction.com